Secret Drinkers
story and photo by Tressa Teeter
Everyone has a guilty pleasure, but dairy-dependent adults are taking things a step too far. Here is a recounting of a real close encounter I’ve had with a dependent individual.
Fearful eyes looked up at me. Time stood still as I realized what was going on. A coworker is hiding a terrible secret. A deceit so shameful that he couldn't hide the shaking in his voice as he begged me not to reveal his secret to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately for him, I was already coming up with intervention plans.
Milk drinkers, lactose lovers, milkaholics, whatever you want to call them. They exist, and they look like everyone else. They keep the dairy industry alive and well, all while their upper lips are tinted with the froth of their misdeeds.
Secret drinkers are those who shamefully hide their drinking problem from the rest of the world. They conceal their beverages in to-go cups, ashamed of the joy their habits bring.
And don’t get me wrong, they should feel shame. While not a sin, it is still definitely wrong. Grown adults sipping on 2%, wondering when they will get a chance to refill their glasses.
An individual who wishes to stay anonymous for obvious reasons confided, “It’s a creamy delight that soothes the tum.” But is a soothed stomach worth the soiled conscience?
Are these people afraid to grow up? Scared to leave behind the bottles and cradles of infancy? Or are they just overly worried about osteoporosis? Either way, it makes no difference. Poor souls caught in the grip of dependency.
Milk drinking is a slippery slope. One moment you’re pouring a glass, thinking it’s just milk, just one glass. Then you're running to the store for another carton at lunch time. Then, before you know it, it’s 2 a.m. and you’re drinking milk straight from the jug with only your refrigerator lights there to witness. ‘Just one last sip,’ you think, but is it really?
Next time you see someone cradling their to-go cup a little too protectively, ask yourself, is it just coffee or something far more sinister?